Elian by Vicktor Alexander
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I believe in honesty, even when it's not about telling how great a story is. I read A LOT of fiction. This is not the worst I've ever read, but it is really high up there on my 'I wish I had not bought this' list. I read Tabansi's short story with the MM Romance groups event and found the history of the 'world' and the dynamics interesting (though a bit appalling in some ways with the forced prostitution).
I did not like this 'novel'. For those who don't like spoilers, don't read on because I'm going to poke tons of gigantic fingers in the numerous plot holes and issues.
The info dumps from the 'prophecy' areas pretty much told us the entire plot. That continued throughout the whole story as the author attempted to foreshadow things but ended up completely telegraphing everything. I knew the big AHA moments because of the so called clues given (such as when Elian discovers that the baddies are trying to destroy the whole city/planet with the ancient ritual used to split their planet from the female's planet and Earth and destroy Sodom and Gomorrah)and then he thinks that information to himself ... and then says almost the exact same thing aloud! I don't need the big reveal of the bad guy multiple times as the reader.
That leads me to my irritation in Ingo's role. We know, right off, when the author tells us about Nevin's brothers that Ingo is the odd one that will be the bad guy. Again, more telegraphing. And how exactly is his plot to take over supposed to be real when at the same time he's telling Elian that he's going to set his brothers up one after the other to get rid of them so he can rule without being suspected by the people (What happened to creating the ancient ritual to call down fire on the city/planet????) and get rid of the all the new female babies so they can go back to being a pure male planet... when he has all the brothers rounded up and thrown into prison together IN THE SAME CELL?
Where does the Dark god that Ingo bargains with for power not come in to the story beforehand when they're talking about the bad guy's plans? THAT should have been foreshadowed, but wasn't. It was just thrown in there to explain Ingo's ability to control half-men/half-beasts and to have magic to destroy Elian with some black shrouded misty stuff. Where is Nevin's power supposed to come in as the god promised him when he'd be able to save Elian from the bad things coming?
Which also begs the question ... how did Elian defeat Ingo? Why couldn't he reach his magic all of a sudden when he knew he had it? Where did the light come from that blew everyone up? Why didn't Andalusia tell him what happened like he did every other damn time? What happened to the 'you will have great power' in the aftermath of having the kids? Which, btw, ew... here, please crouch between his legs and talk to the babies, cause otherwise they'll never come out of his asshole and they'll all die. Really? Plus, why is he bathed in this healing light and sleep for a full day with the birth of the triplets... but when he has his son that doesn't happen?
Normally I can find good things to say to balance out the bad, but this story is defying me left and right. I do like some of the plot scenery descriptions, but couldn't stand the way the author gave out character descriptions like dossiers: So and so is this tall, and has this color hair, eyes, and skin. There were, at least, few typos in the story so while the line edit was performed reasonably well, whoever beta read/content edited it did not help this author one bit.
This could have been really good. I like polyamory, I like fantasy, and I like the whole size disparity between partners, cliché though it can be. There is such potential in this world, or there was, but between Tabansi's story and Elian's ... it was lost.
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