If I hadn’t had Chomper, would I have still known I could bond again? The pain as the venom coursed through the fried circuits in my head pushed me to the brink. I bowed my head over Captain’s, the synthgar slipping from my neck to his. Sweat was pebbling my brow, and yet I was chilled.
Fire and ice warred inside me. Pain threatened to consume my focus away from that still, silent form I plastered my chest against. I could feel the slight rise and fall, reassurance that he was still with me.
I’d hidden away inside the house; Captain had hidden away inside his mind. Shut down, the loss of our bond had done something to him. If I’d been fried, he’d become brittle, like glass.
The slightest touch the wrong way, and he’d shatter beside me. “Sting him,” I whispered to the synthgar. “I need him; he needs me. You’ll never be without us both again, I promise you.” I stroked the tiny back, my trembling fingers delicate, so careful. “Please,” I begged breathily.
“Oh!”
Captain’s body bowed, his neck muscles going taut, his head, shoulders, ass, and heels all that touched the bed. I caged my body over his. He thrashed, gasping, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. The trickle of his emotions I’d felt when the venom began coursing through me became a raging flood.
Regret. Pain. Anger. Despair. Acceptance.
“No! You won’t accept death. You will wake up.” I braced my chest against his, leaning more of my weight against him as he sank back against the bed. The touch of skin to skin was electric. I gasped and shuddered.
Every inch of me was raw, nerves begging for more even as I wanted to shy away. But I wouldn’t. “Open your eyes.” My voice was a husky rumble. Liquid lava ate at me, turning me into a torch. He had to wake up.
Captain turned his head back and forth, mumbling. His guilt rose, the sense of surrealistic déjà vu through the bond forming between us.
“No more. Wake up.” I took matters into my own hands, or lips might be a better word. I kissed him, no deep thrusts or intimate tongue tangles, just pressing my lips to his.
“Please,” Captain moaned.
“Yes. I’m here. Wake up.” He had to. If we didn’t complete the bond, I was going to explode.
I swung a leg over his hips, fully caging his body with mine. Leaning back on my knees, I cupped Captain’s cheek with one hand. I tapped his cheek. “Wake up.”
The barest sliver broke between his lashes.
“There you are,” I crooned. “Come on, wake up.”
“Mmm… hmm… dreaming?” he rasped.
Only the last word was understandable. He mumbled something else, then licked his lips. Did he taste me?
“You’re not dreaming. Wake up!” I resisted the urge to pull down on his eyelid, to make him open his eyes.
Captain blinked a few times, his eyelids fluttered, then he slowly pushed them up, as if they weighed a ton. “Ko-Kohen?”
“It’s about time you remembered your mate’s name.” I tried for a teasing tone, but I failed.
He slowly looked past me. “What….” He coughed, his chest and shoulders quaking. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to help you.”
“No.” He shook his head once, and he nearly couldn’t move it back upright off the pillow. “No, not after what I did.” Guilt was so strong, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to push through it.
“You tried to save us.” I sighed, fighting against my need for him, pushing back the physical to use my words. “We need to stop trying to protect each other, stop trying to fix things. We need to stop keeping secrets. Become a team. Equals.” He wanted to protect the fragile young man he thought he rescued, and I wanted to protect him from the danger I represented.
We were both horrible at it.
Captain blinked, looking up at me. “Protect each other.”
“As a team. If we work together, we win. But can’t keep things hidden.”
“No more secrets.” I don’t know if he was agreeing with me or not, but his guilt had lessened. He was arched under me, his body moving against mine.
Bonding. I could almost feel the ties binding us together. The nerves inside me were barely healed, barely able to handle it, and my body was lit up with both pain and desire. I craved this man, and I’d missed him in the weeks I’d tried to force myself to stay independent.
“Please,” I gasped when he grabbed my hips, then arched and rubbed his stiff length against mine. Captain tilted me, turning onto his side, hitching one of my legs over his hip.
Oh! This left me so open to him. My breath hitched, then picked up, until my chest heaved. I couldn’t stop touching him, and he couldn’t stop touching me. The venom pushed away conscious thought, sending his emotions crashing through me and mine through him. Paired with the feverish touches, neither of us lasted long as Captain and I both used our hands to stroke and fondle, moving in tandem.
Sticky fluid coated our skin, our releases mingling on our bellies. Finally, awareness returned to Captain’s eyes. He was still weak, panting, his body wasted from its former taut muscles and lean spacer build. I shuddered as my synapses fired with our connection and I was forced to feel that crispy feeling once again as my battered brain worked overtime.
“Don’t… you ever… do that again,” I panted. “You almost died.”
“So did you. My fault.” Captain traced my face. “I can’t believe you came to me.”
“What else was I going to do when Deke told me?”
Captain frowned. “Deke?” His jaw hardened. “I ordered him to leave you alone.”
“And that was wrong! I’m your mate! You other half. You don’t get to decide to die. You can’t leave me.”
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