Happy Wednesday! The start of a new year, and the start of a new story! Woo hoo! This is always a fun time. The goal is to create a 500-1k flash story/chapter incorporating at least one of the numerous prompts offered. This week I chose to use a photo prompt as well as a line prompt of, "When did you get to be so ..."
I'm going to be honest though, I have no idea where this story is going... will it stay a contemporary piece? Should I add a paranormal or fantasy twist? Feel free to let me know what you think after you're done reading!
One Night
"When did you get to
be so fruity?"
"Hilarious."
Bear flipped off his boss. They’d been friends for years before Loren opened
the bar. He was a lot of things, but
fruity? No way. Even if he was vertically challenged and had been told by more
than one asshole customer that he had a pretty mouth that looked like it was
made for sucking cock. "You’re the one who came up with the drinks. The
big party of drag queens ordered the rainbow cocktails." Getting a
cocktail order in Capstone wasn't that unusual, but the large group in sparkly
dresses making a racket was a rare occurrence.
Bear scraped lime wedges into
a bin under the bar, then finished garnishing the cocktails. He passed beers
down to two guys clad in jeans and tight t-shirts, then a hand waving a bill
down at the end of the bar caught his eye.
"Ciroc, please. A
double." The deep voice was as smooth as the vodka the man ordered. Bear
raised one eyebrow; getting an order for that was even rarer than the rainbow
cocktails. He turned to grab the top shelf bottle and grimaced.
Being short sucked.
"Let me get
that." The man stepped around the edge of the bar, not quite behind it,
and easily grabbed the bottle.
"Thanks." Hmm …
a spicy scented giant. Bear stepped back, biting his lip. He bent to scoop up
some ice in a glass, then paused and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, how do
you like it?
The customer smirked. Bear
closed his eyes, ignoring the flush he could feel creeping up his neck and
face. It was so not his night.
"On the rocks, please." The man's
voice dropped to a sexy growl. Bear's cock twitched.
Maybe being an idiot was
sometimes a good thing. He poured the expensive vodka, then slid the glass on a
napkin over the bar.
"My name's
Kameron."
Bear stuck the bottle on
the back counter and then closed the end of the bar. "Probably shouldn't
leave that open."
"Probably not. So, I
told you my name ...." Kameron leaned forward, one eyebrow raised.
"I don’t do one night
stands, if that’s why you’re flirting."
Kameron smirked. “Flattering,
little guy, but I don’t do one night stands anymore either, no matter how hot
the man is."
Taking the man's money, Bear
shoved it in the register. He grabbed four beers and a seven seven, exchanging
alcohol for cash and pocketing his tip. It took that long for him to process
the fact that Kameron had called him hot. He didn't like the little guy; five
foot seven wasn't tiny, just not … tall.
"Here." Kameron
held out another bill.
"What's that for?"
Bear frowned as he took it.
"Your tip."
"Twenty dollars on a
twenty two dollar drink?" Was he flashing cash around to change Bear’s
mind?
Kameron shrugged. "It
won't be my only drink."
There was another lull so Bear
took a chance to grab a bottle of water. He was sweating; the leather pants he
wore made his ass look great, but shit they were hot. He tipped his head back
to drain the bottle, feeling some trickle down his chin.
He let out an explosive
breath when he stopped drinking, using the back of his hand to wipe off his
face.
"Damn."
Kameron's face was flushed. He took a big drink of his vodka.
Bear didn't really mind
the attention. He hadn't been on a date in what felt like forever. Of course,
Loren kept driving off anyone that showed interest. It surprised Bear that
Loren hadn't targeted Kameron yet.
"You didn’t tell me
your name."
Bear contemplated his
answer, grabbing a tub of dirty glasses. "Nope." Kameron had said he
wasn't leaving. Bear was a lot of things, but easy wasn't one of them.
"Bear! We need more
glasses. If you're done slacking―"
Loren's sharp tone made
him stop on his way back to the dishwasher. "Maybe someone should run some
through the dishwasher, oh," Bear turned around, "look at that,
someone already is."
His friend scowled at him.
It was his 'What The Hell Are You Thinking' stare that Bear had told him made
his eyes look like they were bugging out. Bear rolled his eyes, leaving Loren
to cover his section of the bar since he was being an ass.
He expected Kameron to
have high-tailed it but he was still there. It was still quiet so Bear started
stocking more beer between a few orders. Most of the patrons were dancing or
listening to the band.
Kameron's smile was a
little smug as he leaned over the bar. "Bear, huh? Interesting … nickname?"
"Yeah. My name's
Bernard but if you call me that I'll shove a corkscrew through your
tongue."
Kameron grinned. "Bear
it is. Violent little thing, aren't you?"
"Cocky giant, aren't
you?"
Kameron's brown eyes were
shining as he laughed. "I guess I am. Since it doesn't seem to be turning
you off that much, maybe I can get away with asking for your number."
"I really don’t do
one night stands," Bear warned him.
Kameron leaned closer. “I'd
love to take you someplace quieter, get to know you.”
A date. Usually men heard
no sex and went to find someone easier. Just because Bear was a bartender and
wore tight pants didn’t mean he’d sleep with every man asking.
He had rules for a reason.
Deciding to take a chance,
Bear grabbed a pen and napkin to write down his number. Loren looked pissed but
Bear ignored him. "I've plans tomorrow morning but we can have coffee in
the evening, if you’re serious."
"I am.” Kameron
folded the napkin carefully. “I'll call you.”
Bear was conscious of Kameron's
eyes on him the rest of the night. By the time the tall man left, half a head
above most of the other men in the bar, Bear was almost wishing he was into one
night stands.
That man was hot.
TBC...
So, where do you think this could go? Give me some ideas and I might use them! Then head over to my fellow Wednesday Briefers and check out their stories, including our NEW member Chris T. Kat, author or Seizing It, A Perfect Match, and more!
Chris T. Kat m/m
Nephylim m/m
Tali Spencer m/m
MA Church m/m
Elyzabeth VaLey m/f
Victoria Adams m/f
Julie Lynn Hayes m/m
That man isn't the only thing that's hot. This story is. I really like the set-up and hints you've laid out. Kameron intrigues me, too. He's got a nice vibe. :)
ReplyDeletelol, I do try! I loved the idea of the bar, leather pants, of course, and a few sassy characters! Kameron seems nice now, but who knows what he could be hiding?? I guess I'll just see what comes up with everyone's suggestions. Thanks for commenting Tali.
DeleteYou've given us such a hot and basic premise. Two men meet in a bar. There's also a third male that sounds jealous or something. I could see it going in a supernatural direction. It could also evolve into something else if you work with Loren's jealousy becoming something darker.
ReplyDeleteYep this plot has 'been done' but it still allows for so many different directions from a start off point that allows for instant attraction. That's why single folks go to bars, right? Plus you get hot clothes, sexy scents, people trying their best to show their 'come get me' sides. I don't really like love triangles, so high school, but we'll just have to see where this goes. Thanks for your suggestions (I'm leaning toward paranormal too)!
DeleteYou really don't want my suggestions on where to go as it would almost invariably involve torture or violence :) I really did love this little vignette though, and would like to get to know Bear and Kameron better.
ReplyDeleteI'm not stranger to torture and violence, lol. Bear and Kameron both presented really strongly to me when I sat down to write, so I'm thinking-outside of other plot elements-this is going to be primarily a character piece. Thanks for commenting Nephy!
DeleteMaybe one could take out a loan. (Sorry, lol, saw the damn spam and cracked up.)
ReplyDeleteMuch tension already, and a hint of jealousy. Hmm. The date should be interesting. ;)
~M
LOL M! Well obviously that anon meant for me to get that idea to use as a plot element. Darn spammers! I like tension, jealousy... hmm... we'll see. I can't wait for their date, but first, what is Loren going to say??? We'll just have to see.
DeleteI like your descriptions of Kameron and Bear--Bear especially. This line especially made me laugh: He didn't like the little guy; five foot seven wasn't tiny, just not … tall.
ReplyDeleteI totally sympathize with Bear. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, you gave us a lot of intriguing hints already.
Thanks Chris, I like to add in descriptions in off-beat ways. I don't usually do specific measurements, but it was called for in this case. I mentioned on your story I like size disparity in my characters; it often comes out in my writing as well. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
DeleteI like the story but then I can feel it going into paranormal or fantasy vibe. which I love
ReplyDeleteYep, me too!!
DeleteEr... What's with the loan spam? O_o Spamming is so rude. -_-
ReplyDeleteAnyway, onto my comment. I LOVE this first chapter. I can see it going in so many ways, but the first thing that popped into my head was that Bear could be a wereanimal. To be specific, he could be a, well, bear. :/ I can totally feel a paranormal vibe coming off this story.
Hm... Love triangles... I don't like them, because somebody will get hurt, or all of them, unless they end up as a permanent threesome. Now there's an idea! But anyway. I did get a jealousy vibe off Loren, BUT, I also kinda felt like he was protecting Bear because Bear could've been hurt before...
Okay, okay, I'm done rambling out my thoughts. I can't wait to see where you take this!
~Cyn
I know, but I hate the verification filter too. I try to get rid of the spam; the blog filter usually catches quite a bit.
DeleteI love your ideas... except making Bear a bear. He's a little too... non-bearish for me. D We'll see what happens next week! Oh, and always feel free to ramble with story thoughts, lol.
After more thought, I agree. He's not really beary. But I can still see him as a wereanimal. Maybe something softer? Just not a were-swan. That's too soft.
DeleteOf course, that could just be because I'm re-reading an awesome book series that has all sorts of wereanimals. There are wereswans, weretigers, werebears, wereleaopards, wererats, etc... [Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novels by Laurell K. Hamilton] It's gotten me back onto a wereanimal kick. :/
Whatever you decide, I'm sure I'm going to love. :D
It's getting juicy already! The impression I'm left with is that Bear is human, Loren has heavy crush on him, and Kameron is a werebear who won't take "no" for an answer. Had to smuckle over the dirty glasses snipe. :D
ReplyDeleteHmm.... juice, LOL. Not sure about Kameron quite yet, but I like your ideas! And the 'smuckle' LOL
DeleteHappy New Year, and thanks for the new story.
ReplyDeleteI like both Kameron and Bear, and can totally sympathize with Bear's dislike of his full name. If anyone (other than my mom) calls me by my full name it makes me sooooo mad. :-) As for either of them going supernatural, that works for me, but so would them just being 2 guys who meet in a bar. As for Loren, so far he seems more protective than jealous, but, as you said, who knows where it's going to go.
Thanks for writing, and I am soooooo looking forward to the next chapter of Adverse Effects.
Great start!! Cia, you mentioned that you're thinking this will be a character piece. If that's the case, I say make them regular people, not supernatural. Besides, you've already got another planet going with Adverse Effects. Why not spend some time writing about two attractive men who are tired of the hookup scene and leery of guys who say they want more, because they usually really do just want sex? You could use them as an exercise in writing snappy dialogue and non-maudlin inner commentaries as they warily circle each other. As for Loren ... I'm thinking over-protective best friend who wants to prevent Bear from being his own worst enemy.
ReplyDeleteI dunno -- it seems like most stories I see posted these days are about people in their teens and early 20's. Maybe it's because I just had a birthday :0) but I'm craving mature characters who have been thru some thangs, and face whatever comes with dry wit, a cocked eyebrow and that bit of hope they can't shake. You can mine drama in that. Really.
Whatever direction you take, I'll be reading!
-- Geemeedee
The idea that Loren is jealous fits more for me b/c you wouldn't be super protective of a friend who clearly is wary of customers coming on to him. He clearly isn't hooking up with every guy and getting himself hurt all the time. So, as a friend, Loren doesn't have to be policing him and watching so he can shoot him a look when he is getting into trouble.
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm a huge lover of the paranormal, but I agree that with Adverse Effects going and Orphic just ending, it's time for a plain, boring old human story :) I'm sure you can spice them up really easily. I really want to know more about what the guys look like since so far we only have tall and not tall. :)
The direction that it feels like would fit what you've done might include Loren being a really jealous guy. Maybe he is the perfect match for Bear and they are closer than he thinks in his own mind. It is clear that Bear doesn't have a big ego so he'd probably be the type to be a bit oblivious when people like him. With him not seriously dating anytime recently, or it seems even casually dating, it might not go over well if he connects to Kameron all of a sudden!
I like these characters alot so far and I look forward to seeing where you go. It's tough to develop characters alot in these short installments, but I hope you can b/c I think these characters have alot of charm on their own and will be great together.
Oh, this could lead to so many paths! Kameron is intriguing and gives out good vibes. Bear is adorable (five foor seven isn't that short, no? )...the mystery here is Loren. Why the jealousy? DId he have something with Bear before? Is he a friend with more than friendly feelings?
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more!
a $20 tip on a $22 bill - things start looking up fast. And I'll have to check outside I think that was hot enough to melt the snow.
ReplyDeleteI have always had a weakness for stories using the backdrop of a bar. The more comfortablely-friendly it is the better I like it.
ReplyDeleteI have read bar stories that were paranormal and everyday normal and those with just a touch of magic in the air. Which way you go depends on the plot and what you want to accomplish.
What you have so far I think would make a great 'bar romance' . They have a number of get-to-know-you chapters,some really great, some not so great. But the attraction grows and in the end they always wind up back at the bar where it all began.
The fun comes in where you could do all kinds of things with their personalities. We really know very little about Bear and Kameron. Is Kameron really maybe a middle aged business man, rich and with an intense case of on-the-spot? Or maybe a mysterious burned out professor looking to settle down. Is Bear a working stiff, or using the bar as a cover-up for art, music, author,student at MIT? It could go many ways on your whim. But I wold love to see the bar play a prominent part in whatever romance goes on.
But I'm sure I will love whichever way you take it. I love the start. (Bear seems the real cutey and stand out till we know more about the others.)