Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Blinding Light

So, went to the Dr. I have whooping cough, on top of respiratory distress and an asthma flair. It could be up to 6 weeks before I'm all better. Don't worry, it won't be that long until I write again, but I'm very very sick right now. I'll hit you with some older stuff though, so I hope you enjoy reading the temporary updates.

This was written in an answer to a prompt: Write a story where the character can't see anything. The idea is to use the other senses to describe the scene to the reader.

Blinding Light

The darkness gave way to the light and I found myself just as unable to see. Tears streamed down my face as the white radiance stabbed through my eyes and blasted my brain. I groaned and turned away, stumbling with one hand over my eyes and the other stretched out in front of me.


My voice was a hoarse croak, barely audible to my own ears. My bare feet slapped down on the rough hard surface, cracks and rocks buried in the sand made me stumble. I waved my arm in front of me, recoiling when I felt streamers from the trees brush against me. The softness was startling after more than a week wandering in a rocky prison.


Weaker now, I stumbled and fell, not feeling the edge of the overhang until I was over it. Both of my hands shot out in front of me but I was too weak to protect myself. My arms collapsed under my weight and I felt a searing pain as my forehead slammed down to the ground. The stabbing pain became a soft blanket that covered me as I rolled over, the trickle of the stream I landed in soaking into my parched skin. I was so weak that I could barely turn my head, trying to suck up some of the precious fluid with cracked lips and a swollen tongue.

My head fell back down to the mud, unable to hold it anymore. I floated in the white radiance, feeling the warm slide of fluid from the throbbing cut on my forehead as tears escaped my lowered lids. I didn't want to give up, but I couldn't go any farther. The pain began to fade and my breathing slowed. I had fought and struggled, unwilling to die in that cave. I never expected I would escape the blinding darkness just to die as sightless in the dazzling light.

Ironic didn't begin to cover it.


  1. I hope you feel better soon. I love this evocative piece that you posted here. Removing one sense obviously forced you to amplify the others but writing isn't really visual anyway. So it really comes out strong with the descriptions, and use of language. You have such incredible talent.

    1. Thanks Michael! I like to explore what senses I can use when I write. This was a fun exercise.


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